CROSSROADS

7:02AM
Boarding Gate 110, Teminal 3
Haneda Airport, Tokyo

The freedom of flying or the feeling that it gives you is quite curious.

I am listening to Agust D’s “Set Me Free” on his second mixtape. For some reason, it fits this cold rainy day in Tokyo. Here I am typing my thoughts away while looking out at the planes slowly making their way through the tarmac.

Agust D rarely sings as he really is a rapper. But I guess because he knows exactly how the words feel as he wrote them, he decided to sing this. I get it. Through and through.

“Set me free, yeah, even though I know it won't turn out however I want to, hmmm
Set me free, yeah, even though I know it is not what I want, oh no no no
Set me free, I'm freely afloat in the air
Set me free, these days I feel blue for some reason
My day crawls on the ground
And another flies in the sky
Why why”

Crossroads.

I realize that crossroads can be between wanting to fly and wanting to stay grounded.
It is safe where I am but escaping gives me some kind of relief as I also don’t need to face the realities that are making me uncomfortable. But discomfort is part of being brave and wholehearted and I have discovered in this trip that, the more my fears eat me up, the more I have to resolve to be brave.

Destiny favors the underdogs and the brave.

It took a while for me to fly, but I know what it feels like to soar. I just need to find my bearings again so I can learn to fly again. Staying on the ground is not an option. My heart is too big for it to be trapped in one place. I have to stop playing safe, take responsibility over things I have done, and move forward and do things better.

I can fly again.