Tiptoes

Tiptoes. Dancing in tiptoes
Guessing emotions as we go
Figuring out this life so
Why don't we live like
We don't care if they like
What we are or are not
Striking out in our fight
To live

Trudging. Heavy feet begrudging
Sound of pebbles crushing
Hearts that beat for nothing
Or something
Just waiting
Breathing out surrender
Writing final letters
But saying goodbye never
To never-ending haters
And pretending lovers

Walking. Walk into darkest shadows.
Fear nothing, feeling hallow
So now I am walking solo
Seeing people shallow
Seeing tomorrow
As another opportunity to pretend
Living life like it has no end
Wasting away hours, minutes, seconds
Again and again
Defeated in silence

Sprinting. Sprint to the finish line.
Blurred out by tears and wine
Intoxicated by life's cruel lines
Hating the feeling
But wanting more and more
Lungs burning and bursting
If life is pain
Then I am its whore
Not wanting to be
But surrendering to it still
Declared myself a loser
In this battle of wills

Running. Running for your life
One foot outdoing the other
Faster and faster
One goes after the other
Running in circles
Running from pain
Pain resurfacing time and again
Am I really running away?
Or running towards it again?
I tire myself from the repetition of it all
And here I am
Back at the start of the game

Standing. Standing & out of breath
Face to face with the eyes of death
Not taking a single step
I regret
All the tiptoeing
And the trudging
Slow walking
The sprinting in fear
The running to here
Where I stand now regretting
All I did was everything and nothing
Except loving and living
Regrets sucking me back to my past
Making the future pitch-black
Standing with nothing.
Tiptoeing.
Back to one again.
Someone give me another chance.

Written while in transit to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia